Everyone's a Critic

Ewan asked me tonight if I would keep growing my hair long. I told him I planned on it. He said, "Good!" I asked him why, thinking I'd get some lovely compliment about how he thought I was pretty with long hair.

"Because," he said, "when you had long hair and I was your only kid, the long hair made you look younger."

"Well, I was younger then."

"Also, it made you look thinner."

"I was thinner then."

He gives me a look like "Oh, your poor thing."

I did manage to find my cheekbones again tonight - in a picture from five years ago. I see what he means.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

... start writing again. Really. I think I can. I WILL do it. It may take me a while to get back into the writing groove, but I will try. Since I don't have anything spectacular to report right now, I think I'll just give some wee updates on different topics and post a few pictures. Then we'll see what I can come up with tomorrow. Or the next day. Or, you know, sometime.

Ewan is incredible. He is loving kindergarten, and announced yesterday he has a girlfriend named Sarah. For the past two days, all he has talked about are the superhero team he has formed with Sarah, Natalie, each of us, and the cats. For Halloween, he wants to be AntMan, a hero he made up after an ant bit him (mimicking what he'd seen on Spiderman when Peter Parker is bitten by the spider.) Ewan is incredibly smart, and excessively sensitive. I love him madly and am so glad to be his mommy. I'm afraid he's more like me than I would like to admit, and that equates to being a major challenge. He requires more patience and care than the other two put together, but I know through prayer and faith, it'll all be worth it.
Fynn is hilarious and fun and stubborn and frustrating, and acts like a turd much of the time. He's in his testing phase, which means he ignores nine out of ten words that come out of my mouth just so he can see how I'll react. Unfortunately, I haven't been strict enough on him - not like I was on Ewan. Being pregnant and having Corgan when Fynn was so young really threw a wrench in my parenting philosophies and one year later, we are still recovering. But I'm trying to get the reins back, and hope to be raising a polite, kind, obedient little boy soon. I mean, within reason. He is a little boy, after all. And a very cute one at that. His face is so angelic, it belies the growling attitude he has most of the time. But he's still my little cherub who loves to play ball and cars, be a superhero, and copies everything his big brother does. Everything.

Corgan is quite a big boy. His height and weight are in the 95th percentile. He actually only began to army crawl about one month ago; the doctor said when they are tall and big like that it is harder for them to get their heft around. Today for the first time, he can go from crawling to sitting up all on his own. And he's ready to start pulling up to stand. It's possible he'll be a slightly late walker, but I'm not concerned. He loves the kitties and meows back at them. He actually had a two minute long conversation with momma kitty Ruby today. It was very cute. He says "dada" and is working on "mama" which usually comes out "nana." He's still more blond than his brothers, and I kiss his feet and squeeze his thighs regularly. I can't believe he'll be one year old in a month. I mean, didn't I just have him last month?

The animal kingdom is alive and thriving in my home. Well, maybe not thriving. Two months ago, a hamster escaped its cage and was found the next day - rather, a piece of her was found the next day. I guess Ruby was hungry. In addition, Ruby has severed the tails of two, count them, TWO different gerbils, as well as murdering another. The survivors, short stub tails notwithstanding, are doing well. One of them has become my friend, squeaking at me and letting me pet her. The other gerbil... Well, I just can't help wishing SHE had escaped her cage instead of the hamster. I actually have a pretty funny story about that, but I'll save it. I went a little crazy after the deaths of the gerbil and hamster, and replaced them rapidly. So the current (and final) tally is two gerbils, two mice, and two hamsters. I can't help it; I like the furry little buggers.

We have kept two of the kittens from Ruby's litter, two little boys we named Oliver and Mudflap (Ewan named him after a Transformer.) They are sweet little guys, and I love them so!


Lucy, a cat I bought with babysitting money when I was 16 years old, had to be put to sleep last week. She had a tumor behind her tongue that couldn't be removed without removing her tongue. So she was basically going to starve to death either way. I went to the veterinarian with my dad, who has been her constant companion since I left and got married, and I was with her until the end, which wasn't easy. I tell you, that cat has absorbed more of my tears in years past as she gave me love and comfort - during an awful heartbreak, through getting over it, moving away from home, coming back with my tail between my legs, through meeting Bryce and watching him leave on a mission, through the two years waiting for him to come home...
I feel badly for my parents, who had gotten quite attached to her, more attached than I've ever seen them to any other animal. But I'm sure she's happy, and I feel confident she's somewhere with my little Flex, playing and being friends.

Me, I'm still fat and trying to motivate myself to work out and lose the stinkin' weight. I had a setback in the middle of July when I injured my knee and had to have surgery. It's still not back at 100%, but I'm doing physical therapy, and hope to be back to normal very soon. Then I won't have any more excuses. Ewan said to me the other day, "Mommy, you need to lose weight. Every day you look like you have a baby in your belly. I call you 'needing to lose weight' mommy." It didn't hurt my feelings, it made me laugh. But when my five year old can tell I'm unhealthy, it's very convincing. For too long I've thought, "Hey, I'm young, I have time, I don't have to worry about disease or diabetes, yet." I realized finally that I am working my way through my 30s, and I don't have time anymore.

Bryce and I had our garage converted into a bedroom for us. Our home is very small - 850 sq. ft. give or take, only two bedrooms, and we were sharing a room with Corgan. There were days Bryce would come home and I'd be laying on my bed having a claustrophobic fit. There was just room for nothing, and often when I needed a moment to myself, Corgan would be napping and I couldn't go in there. I'm grateful for our house, and we have a nice, huge backyard, but we really needed our own space. So now we do, and it's lovely. Thanks to *you know who you are* for this wonderful room, and thanks to Shannon for helping me put it together.

This is already too long - the perils of not keeping up. I hope you stuck through to this point. Hopefully I will be up and running more often, humor intact. And now I need to catch up on all of your blogs! Now - good night!

Summer Survival

Ewan has a need to entertained constantly. Despite his reading abilities, he is not a child who will go sit quietly and read for an extended period of time. He has never enjoyed playing alone much, and besides wrestling Fynn in great matches that rival WWE Smackdown, he can't find anything to do. I tolerate the wrestling as long as I can, until Corgan is sleeping or my ears start to bleed, but he just won't/can't stop. He just moves constantly at lightning speed. From one end of the house to the other, over and over again. He truly can not even sit still for a short conversation or even to one sentence. And he has become quite belligerent - talking back, telling me no, questioning literally every tiny thing I say. I've taken the kids swimming, let them play out back in the water and mud, play in the sprinklers, taken them to the play area at the mall, and turned on more PBS Kids than should be legally allowed. But he's bored stiff. He really is just too smart for his own good, and I can't keep up with him! Mary Ann has offered to take him some or to watch the other boys while I take him places, but he can't be going somewhere constantly. He won't read, won't play blocks, loses interest in his Transformers very quickly now... I'm at a loss. He blossomed so much while in PreK, and I just can't wait for him to start kindergarten. He really needs that structure, constant learning, and something new every day. It's going to be a long summer. (That's not to say I won't bawl my eyes out when he starts, but, hey - methinks I'll get over it quickly.)

Corgan has two teeth now, yay! And they are the cutest teeth I've ever seen. Fynn is just busy being Fynn, talking in longer sentences every day. Not much else to report besides some cat in the neighborhood is a mourning dove assassin and I am finding their carcasses in the yard several times a week. It's been real swell.

I will go ahead and be quite frank here on my blog - I think it helps me. I've been in major denial about my weight until last week when I stepped on the scale on a whim. The wind was knocked out of me when I saw that I now weigh 194 pounds. I about fell over. With all three pregnancies, I managed to keep my weight right under 200 up until delivery day, so to see myself that close and NOT be about to deliver a baby, it freaked me out. I've cut waaaaaaay down on my Coke habit (love referring to it that way) and my abiding love for Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread. I admit I've fallen off the wagon the last two days, but it won't stop me. I'm doing it this time, by gosh! I even bought some fun exercise DVDs geared to kids and their moms. Should be fun!

'Sup?

I was just about to head to bed, but remembered I wanted to try and post something every day, just to get back into the groove. So read at your own peril, it's really just me trying to fill some space. Things are going well over here at the Taylor household. Bryce and I are finally starting to feel like we are catching up financially due to his second job. So we're breathing a little easier, which is always a good thing. Ewan is already bored senseless since school isn't in session, and some of those interesting behaviors of his that had largely disappeared with pre-K attendance are now back with a mighty vengeance. It's going to be interesting getting through to the new year. Fynn is feisty, feisty, feisty. It's funny to look at your children and see yourself manifested in them. I thought Ewan was exactly like me, with some of his anxieties and behaviors, but I realize that Fynn is also exactly like me in a different way. Just ask my mom - apparently I came out of the womb practically hissing in feistiness. That's Fynn for you - it's me all over again. Corgan is now sitting up on his own, but he absolutely refuses to even attempt a crawl. It's frustrating because the Baby Olympics are in a month, and he's behind in his training.

We've had another pet death, our gerbil, Piper. I really don't know what happened. She was just dead. I feel bad for Sophie, her cage mate, because they were just the best of friends. You can't put another gerbil in with one that is already established, because they'll fight. But they are quite social creatures, so I'm sure she's lonely. Poor thing. You may think I'm totally crazy, but Flex's death bothered me so much that instead of getting my cat fixed as planned - I pimped her back out for another litter. She's starting to get all round on the sides. (Don't tell the animal activists, they'll picket my house.) I just want a kitten that doesn't have to have a territorial fight with Ruby over the house. We've already had two cats abandon us because we brought Ruby home. So this way, they know each other from the beginning! Sorry, I'm just a total cat freak. I may even keep two kittens. Just to make up for the trauma of losing Flex the way we did.

By the way, if you haven't already, got to Primp and Tell to enter our latest giveaway. It's a good one!

Okay, I'm already going to bed an hour later than I promised myself, so auf wiedersehen.

Happy 6 months to C-Dawg

The Corganator rolls over both ways, shrieks like an owl just to hear himself, cries a lot over his teeth, is fascinated by the kitties, laughs and grins like the Cheshire cat, adores Ewan and is being really stubborn about sitting-up practice. Oh, and he reeeeeallllly loves his mommy. And I love him. *Sigh*

On a related note, happy 7 months to baby cousin Jonah!

Taylor Status

What is the plural of "status?" Is it "statuses?" "Stati?" Hold on, I'm going to look it up... Oh, wow. It's "status." Hm! Who knew? Anyway... I know I haven't been doing regular posting here other than the occasional picture explosion, so I felt like just posting the state of all things Taylor-oriented.

Corgan is ginormo-baby. Every day, Bryce or I say, "When did he get so big?!" He has no teeth, yet, but he drools like a leaky dam. He's rolling over from back to tummy, and he's starting to experiment with some consonants, constantly screeching out "D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D!" He's a very happy baby, a major contrast from the colicky screamer he was the first few months. Every time he looks at someone, usually women, his jaw opens in a gigantic gummy grin and he crinkles his nose. We've made real progress in that our friend John doesn't make him cry anymore.

Fynn is so stinkin' fun. I can't believe how much he is growing and talking. He loves bugs, and we frequently find him on his belly, very closely examining a tiny creature. I have to stop him from picking up ants and spiders, but I do let him carry around a June bug when he finds one. The other day, he kept one in his hand, alive, through two hours of car travel and shopping time. However, that little booger WILL NOT sleep at night. We put him to bed at 8:00, and that kid will get up over and over again - sometimes more than a dozen times. Nothings works, either. We tried Super Nanny's advice of not saying anything to him, but immediately putting him back in bed, we've tried spanking (just a little tap). Nothing. Right now, having been put to bed an hour ago after not napping today, he's still in there taunting Ewan and roaring like a tiger.

Before I get into an update on Ewan, just a little about him. He's been quite difficult the last couple of years. He's very anxious and seems to have some sensory issues. It's all quite difficult to explain, but it has been a struggle, one that I fear will go on and I won't know how to handle. On the other hand, he's very smart. We could hold full conversations with him when he was barely two, and when he was three, he started sounding out and reading words on his own. He's very curious about words, and asks what everything he hears means. We recently (finally) got him into Pre-K through our elementary school. It has made such a difference. He'll now draw pictures (would never before, only scribble) and is more willing to work at something, whereas before if it was just a slight challenge, he would run screaming from the room devastated. Today, his teacher flagged me down to tell me their language and speech person visited the room today. She said to me, "This boy will read anything you put in front of him." Apparently, they gave him word lists, and he was reading at above a 4th grade level. So this language specialist is going to come in each week and work with him and see what else he's capable of. I was just so excited, because I worry about him so much. I had a hard time not crying in happiness for him. He's not into sports at all, but seems to have a very scientific mind, and you'll always find him in the company of adults rather than children. More than once I've gotten to school to pick him early and found him on the playground, talking his teacher's ear off while the children ensued in hilarity around him. He's quite an interesting, awesome kid.

Bryce is working hard, but may need a second job soon. I'm trying to keep up with everything, and barely succeeding. The kittens are cute and growing and each one has a home waiting for it. In fact, one will be staying with us and Ewan has named him Flex.

Fynn scopes out the insect life.

The biggest worm I have ever seen, even after being accidentally cut by a shovel.

So disgusting, yet so AWESOME.

Flex is on the left. Say a prayer: Fynn is determined to slam the door on one of them.

This is what Fynn does when I've banned him from the kittens. I tried to get a shot of one of their paws coming out, but they were too quick.

Just because I'm bored and it's cute

This is a picture of Ewan when he was one year old - his first Easter. I accidentally flipped to this last night in a photo album, and was shocked at how much I see Corgan in this little face. And I can't believe Ewan isn't this little baby anymore.

Hodgepodge

Saturday, we wanted to get out of the house, and since the Wisteria are blooming everywhere, I really wanted to go to the Botanical Gardens. My grandmother had Wisteria growing all over her back fence, and in the spring, you could smell it the second you pulled up in her driveway, and the backyard would just be a wonderland of purple. She's been gone for nearly twelve years now, and whenever I see Wisteria, I think of her. (I think of her with many flowers, actually.) I have some growing in my yard, but they don't bloom yet because it's a young vine. Watch - the first year we are out of this house, they will explode. We were looking for them at the Gardens on one of the paths, when Ewan and I both said, "I smell grapes!" We turned a corner, and BAM! there they were. It was gorgeous. They are right next to the roses, and the combination of the two scents made me feel like I was sitting RIGHT THERE in Grandma's backyard, talking about flowers and babies. She lived only a few blocks away, and when I was babysitting my nephew Chandler, Amy and I would put him in the stroller and walk over there. He'd play by her little fish pond while we all talked.

From a distance - look how high they climb.

Strolling

I wrote a poem years ago about sunbathing with turtles. I would post it here, but I'm sure it's not as good as I thought at the time.

A reluctant pose from Ewan. His favorite part of the excursion was sitting and being able to play with his new Transformers.

Another reluctant pose.

I didn't even ask him to sit for this. He just wandered over to this tree like it was a professional shoot, and he was a model. Then he started ripping daffodils out of the ground.

My attempt at photography.

Mommy and a 5-month-old Corgan. Let this serve as his 5 month post.

I could not resist posting this, with Fynn's arm around Corgan like real chums. I love these boys so much. Continuing on the 5-month-post vein, Corgan is growing so much. He "talks" all day and shouts out to hear himself. He's rolling from stomach to back, and almost from back to stomach. He usually ends up turning a 180 in the attempt.

I thought this was a girl thing...

Needless to say, Ewan is now sporting an incredibly short buzz cut. We couldn't do it as short as he cut it, or he would have been bald. How he cut that close to the scalp without cutting himself, I'll never know.

And just because they are so cute, pictures of the other boys for fun.
If he's not wearing his Superman cape, he's wearing his backpack, usually with a baseball hat.

Growing up.

Inventions

As mentioned in this previous post, Ewan has always been into "inventions" and he also does little experiments around the house all day. He has become even more interested in these things since he started watching "Sid the Science Kid." Not one day goes by without some sort of new invention from Ewan, which is usually some toys held together in various incarnations with some Scotch tape. And they involve a very long explanation as to what they do. Today, I found him trying to execute the following, something he thought up on his own.

This one actually has a real-life function. That's a toy golf club Scotch-taped to the fan chain. Now he can reach it. He was quite proud. He needed a little bit of my help, but he deserves all the credit.

And this is his other invention. It's a "super-fighter stick." No doubt used to fight off Decepticons or monsters. This is made up of a baby toy - a ball that splits in half to house other, smaller balls, and the rods are from a ring-toss set Shannon gave Fynn for his birthday. I wonder if Ewan will be a scientist.

A bonafide PreK-er

Bryce and I have wanted Ewan in Pre-K for a long time. He attended one at a recreation center last Spring, but had some anxieties about it, and didn't want to go back in the Fall. For those of us who know us well, Ewan has some issues feeling very anxious and timid a lot. But he's so smart, and he is so very bored here at home. I haven't pushed preschool on him, because last year, it was not pretty. And, um, we can't afford it. However, it has become more and more apparent that he needs it. After talking to our Primary pianist, Mary (now 1st counselor, yay!), we found out we actually qualified for him to attend for free.

First thing this morning, I enrolled him, and he was able to attend this afternoon. There were a few moments that made me afraid he was going to panic, but he did very well, and came out with a huge smile. I'm excited about it for him, although I was a little peeved when after asking him what they did today, he said, "I don't remember. We watched Cars." Is there an emoticon for severely irritated and distressed? Or rather, a "What the hell?" emoticon? Anyway, he assured me it was only the last part of the movie, and right before they dismissed. I'm hoping it's because it was Friday... I mean, even though it's free, I can stick Cars in the DVD player here at home. We're going to give it a week and see how it goes. A bonus for me, though: He gets dropped off at 12:20 and is dismissed at 3:20. Fynn's nap is from 1:00 to 2:45. Corgan sleeps whenever he's snuggled with me. Do you see where I'm going with this? Mommy gets a nap, now! YAY!

Fynn was very upset when we dropped Ewan off. I'm not sure if it was because he was going to miss Ewan or because he got a glimpse of all those toys in the classroom. After nap, I told him we were going to pick up Ewan, and he was so mad when I didn't walk out the door right that very second. He was screaming - he wanted his "Ooowah."

To celebrate the occasion, Ewan got this brand spankin' new Transformers backpack. Alas, he doesn't actually need it for Pre-K...

But he doesn't love it any less, especially since it came with this super rad bifold wallet. With a real dollar bill inside!

After taking the above pictures, I look down to see this. You think he wants his picture taken with his backpack, too?

It was pretty cool being here with Fynn alone for awhile. It's so hard when I'm juggling the three of them, and Ewan requires a lot of intervention and involvement. But today, I was able to spend quality alone time with him while Corgan was asleep. He's so fun and is talking so well.

Ewan and Corgan are great friends.

Unloading the camera

Ewan and Fynn got new baseball hats.  Fynn sleeps with his every nap time.  I found him like this the other afternoon.  Trying to shield the light from his eyes?

Chillin' on a Sunday afternoon.

I think she wants some gerbil meat.  Must be a pregnancy craving for protein.  Yep, she's pregnant.  Want a kitten?  You know I'll end up keeping one.

If only Corgan had been next to Fynn instead of Bryce, and I would have had perfect little stairsteps.

Do these belong to you?  I washed a load of laundry and these were in the bottom of the washer when it was done.  I have never seen them before in my life.  Neither has Ewan.  Fynn can't tell me what I need to know.  I cannot figure out where they came from.  Please let me know if they are yours, and I shall return them.  I guess the exchange rate for a pair of socks is two play butter-knives.

More best pictures ever

Here are more shots from our family photo session with Missy. There are so many beautiful ones, I don't know if I'll be able to limit myself on posting them. Ewan does this a lot to Missy when she gets the camera out, he just makes faces and acts so goofy. But I love the look of sheer joy on his face in these pictures. He looks so happy and like he's having so much fun. Fynn just takes my breath away. And Corgan, we just love him so, poor thing was cold and wanted to be somewhere warm. I really like these, especially the fun, unplanned ones where the boys' personalities show through.