Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A haze of laze for the rest of my days

This pregnancy is so kicking my butt, that I fear I'll just be lazy for the rest of my life. Seriously, I am "out of commission" so much lately, that Bryce ends up doing tons of extra work for me, and I struggle through the rest of the day while he's at work. My kids are subsisting on dry cereal and if they are lucky, Spaghettios. What if this becomes a habit? I really do get scared of that. My biggest fear in life (besides the obvious - losing a loved one) is that I'll become this lazy mom who eats bon-bons all day and barks orders at my kids while reading trashy novels. I just can't even imagine being back to normal at this point. Last night, when Bryce walked in from work at nearly midnight, he found me on the couch, literally unable to walk the ten feet to the bathroom to brush my teeth due to my back problem. I wasn't feeling humble enough to crawl, so I'd waited there for twenty minutes for him to come home and help me. Forgive my whining, it's just the state I'm in. As if it wasn't challenging enough, I was rudely awakened this morning by a monster of a Charlie horse that has yet to completely go away, as well as having a sore throat, aching head and a cough as the cherry on top. I know, I know, I should stop whining. But I'm so good at it - the one thing I'll never be lazy about. I really do not post this for sympathy, I just really do worry about the affect this will have on me after the baby comes. That fear rises up so much, I guess just because this is all I know right now - the days of normalcy seem so far behind.

8 comments:

Ashley said...

I personally enjoy bon-bons and Oprah. The best part is, the kids are home when Oprah starts so I can bark orders, eat, and watch TV at the same time.
P.S. you'll be fine, stop worrying.

J.E.M. said...

LOL Ashley!
And oh, I can SO relate! What if Megan thanks Disney Corporation and Peter Pan for raising her when she accepts her Academy Award?

Sarah Smiles said...

Naw, you will be fine! You'll have a new baby to keep you on your toes...plus two other wee ones to entertain!
Your body will bounce right back, and you'll just be dealing with lack of sleep instead of excruciating pain! ;) The lesser of to evils, right?

Shannon said...

I agree with all of the above, the joy of new baby will overshadow. and I am sure it will be tough, and different, but you will rock it! and luckily this go around, you have another little helper that can give you a hand when you are glued to the chair nursing the baby!

Sarah Young said...

Don't worry, just the fact that your scared of it means it won't happen, because you're aware. I remember feeling the same way before Lauryn made her debut. When Corgan gets here, you'll have your hands full and you'll worry that you'll never stop moving. (That's where #3 put me) I keep telling myself in every thing there is a season. Your season right now unfortunately is being sick with prego stuff. But pretty soon that will pass and he'll be out of your belly and into your arms.

Amber said...

I can sympathize. I feel like I've been pregnant or with a small infant for 4 years now and have forgotten what it's like to 'live' life. But you WILL bounce back...this is an important time for you to take it easy and your body is telling you that. Once your energy and relative health comes back you will be on the go once again.

I think this is a true fear for all of us when in the same situation. My one consolation at this point is that I will actually be on doctors orders for bed rest at ... 26 weeks!!! can you imagine, it's going to be so depressing. I'm not looking forward to it, other than having an excuse for my laziness.

Jenny said...

I'm so sorry you feel lousy. There's is nothing worse than having to rely on feeling seriously crappy and knowing you've got stuff to do. I hate that feeling. But just remember that when you're laying on the couch, feeling lazy, you're actually working very hard on perfecting the little details of Corgan's pancreas, liver, heart, skin, etc. You're extremely busy right now!

Kristy said...

I am right there with you, Kelli! And I have had the exact same thoughts. I am so tired of hefting this belly around and not being able to bend over and waiting for Thomas to get home to make dinner and take care of the kids... Then we will have our babies and we will return to normal and then in a couple of years we may consider doing it all over again because we won't be able to remember how miserable we are right now...naw, this will be it for me!